Colors

The masterpiece I see may be a disaster to you.

The disaster to me may be the masterpiece to you.

With a new canvas, you entranced me with your masterpiece.

Your beauty enchanted my vision to solely perceive the colors you wanted me to see.

With your narrow superficiality and lack of depth,

you changed the complete picture I saw of all my colors.

But where are my colors now?

Rose-colored glasses and heart on my sleeve,

I didn’t realize the forgotten depths of the powerful complexions in my roots.

As I danced in your shades of blacks and white,

I almost let myself live in the shadows of you.

And then you left. Just like that.

With another completely blank canvas,

and a plethora of bent and used and messy brushes

all on the floor, left all on the floor.

Now I am on the floor; and I am all that is left.

Will I get back up, or will I stay?

I realize I have these brushes, and I want to paint.

Although they are messy and I am messy, nothing beautiful can exist without the messiness of it all.

With what I have now, I want to create my own masterpiece.

With my own glasses now, I ponder:

who can know what colors really look like

When everyone sees different colors?

No one can understand the natural state,

true purity,

and inherent essence

that colors offer us.

And just like that, so many invisible hues

and tints

and tones

emerged within.

With the blacks and whites you let me see,

I expanded it into a rainbow of possibilities.

Infinite opportunities to see what other people see,

to feel what people feel,

to connect,

connect,

connect.

Though I will never fully picture the nuances and subtle disparities of hues around me,

I now connected back and found strength in mine.

With the colors I can now see,

I found me.

(When you change how you see the world around you, the world around you changes.)

---

"Colors" is a poem about self-discovery after recovery from unhealthy connections. Personally, it is a story that explains how I survived the toxicities I have faced, when the old version of me had to shatter for a new version of me to be born. In all types of relationships, self-reliance can stem from trust only if you know yourself throughout that dynamic.

Although I am far from perfect, I am thankful to say that I know myself now more than ever, while also simultaneously leaving space for the spontaneous unknown and fluidity of change.

Healing is a journey that can only be found from you. I hope this inspires you to find your own strength, confidence, and solidity too. Sending much love to all! :)

- Kat <3

IG: @plantifullylivin

@katrinazara