Remembering My Smile
What’s your favorite thing about your face?
I know it is a weird question to ask... but I wanted to do so, because when was the last time you have thought good things about yourself?
When was the last time you did something for YOU, and you only?
In all honesty, I think I have not been checking in with myself as much as I should have lately. More specifically, the transitional stage of graduating college has led to a huge switch-up of routine in my life, and it has slightly distracted how I care for my mental health. I have fallen off track a bit in terms of serving myself in ways that best prioritize me. But, that’s why I write this blog: to show my humanness and to normalize how it is okay to be human, messy, to not have it all together, and accepting of all our emotions, good or bad. I’ve been hurting, I’ve been crying, and now I’m channeling through all my inner turbulence in the form of writing.
I love writing about the past and present moments of my mental health journey because it connects me back to myself. In the process of reminding myself back to who I truly am, I share some of my lessons, insights, and creations with great hopes that like-minded individuals hop along here to reignite with their strength, courage, and authenticity for facing their struggles and cultivating their own growth.
Back to answering the original question: for me, my favorite thing about my face is my smile. I love the way I light up as certain folds of my skin crinkle and bounce up. I am grateful how it does not take much for me to smile and to have a good time; simultaneously, I find myself tearing up at the smallest of things if I do not set proper boundaries and/or am unaware of where I invest my energy.
We often underestimate the immense power of emotional pain. When you break a wrist, the apparent physical damage spurs the question: “How’s your wrist doing?”
However, if someone is crying on the bus, acting quieter than usual, or has not eaten all day, very rarely do people ask: “How’s your heart doing?”
It is completely natural to feel whatever invokes discomfort, but the majority of us have made it unnatural to truly express what it is that aches us.
This is why damage to the heart, at times, may be even more dangerous than physical pain. People underestimate how much mental pain can do for blurring the vision of potential.
What is comforting about the expression of physical pain is that it is easier to detect, identify, and label. Direct observations make it easier to talk about and heal through, thanks to the automatic support of our bodies - we are bound to recover from almost all physical injuries.
On the contrary, the expression of mental pain is almost a foreign language to some. Many never even had the possibilities or willingness to learn healthy modes of communication or emotional regulation. Misaligned intentions arise when truths are not said. Consequently, this troubles the heart into a ball of turmoil. When it all becomes too heavy and stiffened, the trouble in an individual’s heart can spread collectively onto the hearts of others, which leads to the domino effect: hurt people, hurt people.
I think that the world can become a lot more beautiful when the BEST version of everyone you meet is present in it. That can only come from healing the domino effect of hurt, through the ripple effect of compassion and gentleness.
To be aware of what you need to work on, to be compassionate about your imperfections, and to be gentle regarding your mistakes are all trajectories I am currently focused towards so that I can be my best self. But perhaps the biggest reignited realization that has recently been on my mind for me is:
What people say or do to you oftentimes has NOTHING to do with the true you.
Everyone’s projections, actions, and perceptions are mirrors back to their own true selves. The level of connection each person has with their own self will be a direct parallel to how much they connect with every other individual they meet.
A hard, brutal truth is that sometimes, people can’t love you in the way that you need to be loved.
No matter how much you care for someone, no connection can ever be forced. This is why loving the person who looks back at you in the mirror every single day is the best kind of love there is. No one is made for you as much as that person.
I’m going to end with something I need to hear for myself now:
You are already whole, complete, enough, and loved just as you are.
Every aspect of your body does what it does to solely support your aliveness; it will always be there for you. May this be a reminder now, to be there for yourself.
Do something today for you, and you only.
As always, sending much love and light to all; thank you so much for reading. <3
- Kat <3